Google reviews are quite useful…mostly. Apart from when they’re not…sometimes they're plain funny! It’s actually a big part of why we created International School Advisor, not to spoil the fun but to make sure reviews were always useful and relevant.
As The Guardian pointed out recently, some of those reviews on Google can be very amusing…I’m sure in some cases they were heartfelt but some of that honesty often ends up being quite entertaining.
We probably have more experience than anyone else on the planet when it comes to looking for less-than-useful Google reviews for international schools - along with our own (individually checked and much more useful) reviews, we have incorporated Google’s reviews into our site to give our visitors as broad a picture as possible.
We’ve had to go through them looking for the ones that probably don’t add to the experience. So here are our top 30 one star reviews for you to enjoy…tell us in the comments if you’ve seen better and we’ll try and put them in the next list!
PS - to protect the ‘innocent’ we’ve not included the school’s name, just the city!
|1||Seoul||"I can't express how much I despise this school. There have been numerous times where I have found nose hair in my corn."|
|2||Dubai||"The school got our kids British accents, which upset our family back in the USA, since they do not like that the British people took our language and added an accent and then called it their own."|
|3||Dubai||"To many people doing fortnite dances"|
|4||Dubai||"Mr.Fowley fight me i will 1 v 1 you and you can even bring Miss stones and badby as backup. you know who i am"|
|5||Kuala Lumpur||"i can't find ma boi jason wong"|
|6||Lagos||"Please do not send your child to this school it is a prison. Literally. Thank you."|
|7||Singapore||"This school helped me achieve my dream of becoming a Kopitiam cleaner! Thank you so much!"|
|8||Warsaw||"On the first day in school my son got karate chopped in the neck by a naruto wannabe!"|
|11||Sydney||"just want to say? I DO NOT LOOK LIKE AN EGG?, I DEFINITELY CROP MY HEAD TO MAKE ME LOOK LESS LIKE AN EGG! I HEARD THE CANTEEN USES EGGS IN THEIR FOOD, NO MORE EGGS, WAR ON EGGS!"|
|12||Bangkok||"my friend claims to see the principle vaping in his office... isn't it bad influences for kids there?"|
|13||Seoul||"all the men know why"|
|14||Seoul||"A very diverse range of forehead shapes and sizes. The students are the kindest in the universe and spend a bit too much time on their phones during class. Boxel rebound is necessary to pass well-being and PP. Great place to buy ice cream."|
|15||Dubai||"The worst school ever. Bathroom disgusting there are booger's on the wall which makes me vomit. The teachers barely talk English. The class room is soooo small canteen food is poisoned I ate a cookie after few hours I had upset stomach and no fair treatment I hope this school gets closed by K.H.D.A. I am still in school 5g . Can't wait to go to another school."|
|16||Deerfield||"The spaghetti in the cafe gave me the runs."|
|17||Sydney||"THIS IS PROBABLY ONE OF THE WORST SCHOOLS AND IT HOLDS THE BIGGEST CONCENTRATION CAMP IN AUSTRALIA IF YOU WANT YOUR KIDS TO EXPERIENCE HELL IRL THEN SEND THEM HERE CAUSE THEY WONT GET BULLIED OR TOLD OF I MEAN TOTALLY|
|18||Dubai||"Sheila at reception is good. Some teachers with exceptions (ex. Mr. Baxendale is a fav) and admin staff with exceptions again (Christina, STA, Accounts, Clinic is good) are arrogant. Overall, okay."|
|19||Shanghai||"I don't like the field"|
|20||Dubai||"Hi apply online admission for my son for kg 2 my there no reply, plus no one is pick up the call please reply when I can contact for the admissions many thanks"|
|21||Bangkok||"Terrible people running this school. No civic sense at all. Blare their school activities, using loudspeakers, disturbing peace in the entire neighborhood. Ignore complaints. No other school does this. Send your kids to this school only if you want them to learn such uncivil, uncouth behavior."|
|22||Seoul||"This school, very interesting and full of energy of the infinite stars shining at the rainbow. I could see the unicorn shining above me as I looked up the beautiful bathroom. Let's cheer for the everlasting toilet papers on the beautiful bench in my room. The made me agriculturalatated with my ugly fingers. Thank you APIS! MWAH~ I ate lots of beautiful skies looking at the shining windows. So EAT MY JUICE CHICKEN !! NONOMNONONONO"|
|23||Sydney||"Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life... He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic, he could save others from death, but not himself."|
|24||Sydney||Seriously, there are NO hot chicks at this school! Don't go there"|
|25||Sydney||"I LOVE THIS SCHOOL! well I'm not a student nor a parent, however i am a lover of architecture, and the school's structure facade is brilliant, if only i was 12 years younger than i could've attended, unfortunately my childhood was filled with public tuition and Vietnam flashbacks! oh the days, hey do you guys have any teaching positions - possibly as an art teacher, they don't call me the Saddam Husseein of the art world for nothing, my work is explosive and a little extreme - not dangerous, however just a false alarm"|
|26||Melbourne||"Do i need 2 give a star 2 post? Never mind. The google anserd tat questionay 4 mehhhhhhhhhhhhh. But i DO NOT like diz skoooool and it doesnt dezerve any stars But i have 2 give 1 dang it!!!!!!!!!!!"|
|27||Sydney||"The girls from this school get on the 324 and 325 buses in the mornings and the occupy the seats while other full paying passengers even elderly are standing up. "Absolutely disgraceful that these kids get taught no manners in these schools."|
|28||Singapore||"Dirty cheating school subbed off a player who was going to get a red card. No morals or ethics. Do not support this school and it's shady operational practices."|
|29||Singapore||"Didn't let me on the school bus. Had no other way of getting home. I tried to explain to them but they just kept saying no. Bad food. Rude teachers."|
|30||Singapore||"Unless you drive a Porsche and above, they treat you like scum. I mean come on guys, Honda Vezel has got real value for money. Especially with the COE the way it is, it's pretty damn hard to buy a car which lives up to your standards."|